The Importance of Goal Setting in Divorce Mediation

Prioritize your goals.  When you head into a mediation session with a San Francisco divorce mediator, it is in your best interest to have thought through which of your marital issues are most important to you.  The aim of a San Francisco divorce mediator is to help the parties identify issues, and come up with solutions to resolve those issues, which are mutually satisfying to both parties.  The reality is that some issues will be more or less important to you than other issues.  Good negotiating begins with knowing what is and is not important to you.  You should have a good idea of your bottom line on issues that are important to you –and do not start there in your negotiations.  The mediation process ideally allows the parties to explore creative solutions to issues.  Also, it involves some give and take in negotiating.  This is why it is important that you know what your goals are, and where you are willing to give and take.  For example, let’s say you do not much care about the furniture in the house, but there are a few tools in the garage that you would really like to have.  Then that is one of your goals, and you should think through what having those tools is worth to you.

Think about your spouse’s potential goals in a divorce mediation session.  It is a good idea to try and think in advance of a mediation session, what things might be important to your spouse.  If you have a good idea of that, you can think through where the give and take might occur.  Remember, everyone wants to feel like they have “won” in a negotiation.  A skilled negotiator knows how to get what one wants, but make the other person feel like he or she “won” too.  It will enhance your negotiating abilities during mediation if you can anticipate some of these issues and keep calm and focused when your San Francisco divorce mediator begins facilitating your negotiations.

Call Lisa Nelson at SFAM today at (650) 556-8880 for a free initial consultation to discuss mediating your divorce matter or visit our website at


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Filed under Children, Marital Assets & Debts

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